When you graduate, do n’t let the three major emotions end
A survey conducted by the China Youth University for Political Sciences on the psychological status of university graduates shows that there are 40.
6% of graduates faced “feeling bad” and “irritable, nervous, sad, and pessimistic” when they graduated, becoming their main words to express their graduation mood.
How to manage, debug the psychology before graduation, and take every next step well?
Peking University recently invited relevant psychologists to participate in a lecture on graduate emotional management on this topic.
In the four years of college, there are many wonderful people and things worth remembering, and the sorrow when graduating and parting is gradually.
Moderate expression of grief can help graduates deal with separation and can also make them more emotionally connected to those around them.
Farewell: The purpose was to slap Gu Naxin’s “snap”, a kettle was thrown out of the dormitory window of a Beijing university and shattered.
The harsh voice scared freshman Cao Yan.
After inquiring, she learned that this was the teacher who was leaving school in a few days and was venting her feelings of departure.
However, from the perspective of graduate Tao Li, throwing a kettle was far from venting his sadness at parting.
He and the three brothers in the same bedroom painted the openings of the dormitory with the words “graduated” and “get out of the way”. When they were done drawing, they drank drunk, and drunk, they hugged and cried.
Although he felt that this “fragile” was very shameless, he really did not know how to control his own sentimentality.
Yang Mei, a professor of psychology at the Capital University of Economics and Business, said in his lecture that there is no good or bad emotion, but only timely and moderate problems.
After graduation, many students express their sad feelings of parting by throwing away unwanted things, graffiti, drinking, etc. It is indeed a way of venting.
But there should be a bottom line for venting, and that is not to be too capricious and indulgent.
Wang Zhiyan, a psychological consultant at the Mental Health Education and Counseling Center of Peking University, suggested that graduates “express grief appropriately.”
She said that the essence of separation is to say goodbye to what you have in the past, release your inner capacity, and accept more new experiences.
Graduates have been studying in school for four years, and there are many wonderful people and things worth remembering. It is gradual to feel sorrow in the face of graduation at graduation.
But sadness is also a very destructive emotion.
Too intense grief exacerbates people to become very vulnerable, and expressing grief moderately can help graduates deal with separation, and at the same time can make themselves more emotionally connected with those around them.
She said that graduates attending the graduation ceremony, recording their feelings, finding important people to share, or crying alone alone are all good ways to express sadness.
Wang Zhiyan said that although some graduates may meet and have the opportunity to return to the campus, in this current status, the opportunity to meet in such an environment will never be returned.
It is because of this that parting is so sad.
”Although you can’t move out of school, you can take away memories or clues about them.
“Finally, Wang Zhiyan suggested that the sad graduates collect some clues related to the past:” Record the places where I am nostalgic with photos, videos, and documents.
A few leaves, a few books, a classmate’s message, a magazine I have run, a hairpin, a backpack, etc. can all help graduates reduce their worries about leaving.
“University students are not mature enough. When they fall in love, they mainly consider whether their personalities are similar, but they do not consider too many realistic and objective factors such as family and work.
An objective and fair understanding of the reasons for a breakup can help those who have broken love reduce pain.
Broken love: Give each other a better future. “After graduation, I saw that many people in love had to break up, and it was very painful.
“In the lecture, a graduate boy raised this question to Professor Yang Mei.
A survey conducted by the China Youth University for Political Sciences shows that more than 60% of the graduates in love have to suffer the pain of splitting up or temporarily separating. The division of love has become an important factor that brings great psychological pressure to the graduates.
”From acquaintance to love, there must be many good things happening in this process, and after graduation, you have to break up.
This is indeed an anxious and painful process.
Yang Mei suggested to look at this issue from multiple angles.
First of all, Yang Mei believes that an objective and fair understanding of the reasons for the breakup can help the brokenheartedness reduce the pain caused by guilt and self-blame.
Yang Mei analyzes that college students’ psychology is still immature, and most of them consider whether their personalities are similar when they fall in love, without giving too much consideration to family, work and other realistic and objective factors.
With the deepening of their contact with society, the things considered are becoming more and more realistic, and love is marginalized, so it is inevitable for many campus couples to break up.
There is no doubt that Yang Mei inspired students to see graduation breakup from three good aspects: reorganization, love needs a new social test.If you don’t have the confidence to let the simple campus love experience this test, then breaking up in advance is to give each other more free development space and a better future. It may not be a good thing; it is not a painful emotional experience.
Graduates can tell themselves “In this simple and beautiful love, I have learned a lot and gained a lot, which may be the most precious emotional experience and wealth in my life.
“Furthermore, the failure of love on campus does not mean the failure of a lifetime relationship. In the future, you may find more suitable relationships due to this love affair.
However, Yang Mei was not afraid that the broken lovers would over-press their pain. When necessary, they could talk to a friend, or find a place where no one was crying.
Facing the new environment, everyone needs to spend time to adapt, but the length of time will be different for different people.
But it is this temptation process that cultivates people’s sense of trust and security in the environment, so as to survive and develop and develop their abilities.
Work: It takes time to adapt to changes. “Teacher, I have to go to work as soon as I leave school. Suddenly I have to face a completely unfamiliar environment. There is no time for adjustment in the middle. I feel so scared and nervous.
“This kind of worry has appeared in one month of a graduate of Peking University. When he couldn’t bear it, he walked into the school’s mental health education and counseling center.
”For graduates who are about to enter a new environment, worry and anxiety are always there, it just takes time to adapt to changes in the environment.
Wang Zhiyan said that in the face of the new environment, everyone needs to spend time to adapt, but the length of time required by different people will be different.
But it is this temptation process that cultivates people’s trust and sense of security in the environment and enables us to find our own unique way to survive in the new environment and continue to develop and develop our abilities.
Wang Zhiyan suggested that graduates can try the following four methods to relax themselves: First, learn about the new environment in advance through various channels.
Graduates who are about to move to a job position can give themselves an overkill if they can start spending some time internships in new units early.
No longer, graduates can talk to relevant people or go online to collect relevant information.
In short, we must be able to find some ways to approach the new environment that we are about to enter under limited conditions.
”You can also bring your familiar threads to the new environment.
“Wang Zhiyan believes that this is a simple, convenient and practical method.” Bring your favorite music, your computer or tea cup, these things will evoke the feeling of safety and beauty you have had in the past and help you overcome the new environmentThe worries that give you the power to deal with conflicts and challenges.